O' Clothesline Tree, O' Clothesline Tree...

...how lovely are thy blouses.

Thanksgiving has passed, and brought forth the time of Christmas.  A beautiful time of merriment and insanity.  Regardless, I am a bit nostalgic around Christmas and really enjoy the cheesy movies, the strings of lights, the decorations, and you get the idea.  It's a beautiful time of year.  

During my divorce, while seperating our possesions, I decided to give our pre-lit christmas tree to my ex-husband, since he has kids.  So, now that Christmastime is here, I needed a tree.  I wanted a pre-lit-tree-in-a-box.  (As much as I love real trees, I love them better in the ground where they belong and stay alive forever; hence the name "evergreen".) 

Having been to see the Black Friday deals and the back of my eyelids Saturday... I bummed around eating leftover turkey on Sunday... and lo and behold, it was then back-to-work Cyber Monday.  I did a little on-line browsing and found a great deal on a tree at a certain big name hardware store.  51% off.  If I use my store card, I get an extra 5% off.  Awesome!  So I bought it online, and requested store pick-up.

After work Monday we get to the store and they tell me that they ran out of stock on the tree I purchased, but they would "upgrade" me to a similar tree for the same price.  Wow!  Okay, great!

So, I go home with my upgraded pre-lit-tree-in-a-box.  But I wasn't quite ready to put it up, so the box sat in the living room for a few days.

Thursday night I decided it was time to put up the tree.  I was in a festive mood.  I had been singing carols all day, and watching the hallmark channel Christmas marathon. 

So I clear out the spot and I sweep and swiffer up the floor, even used pledge (hardwood floor).  I get my handy pair of scissors and enthusiastically cut the tape around the edges of the box flaps... I feel almost like a kid in a candy store as I open the first flap... the second flap... and I see the underside to a roll of carpet.  I look at my roommate and say, "Huh?" and I pull on the carpet a bit. I actually thought to myself, "When did they start wrapping trees in carpet?" As I tug a bit more on the carpet, I find clothes. Women's clothes. "What!?" And then we both begin to just laugh. What else can you do?

I called the store and told the manager, "Hun, you're store got jipped."  I explained it all to him,  I said, I think someone returned the "tree" box for a full refund, but all they really returned is clothes wrapped in a carpet remnant.  People are crazy!

So I took the box of clothes and carpet back to the store and got another box that ACTUALLY had a tree in it.  Glad they gave me an actual tree... I thought I'd have to hang a clothesline in order to decorate this carpet/clothes tree that laid before me. 

Merry Christmas to me, I have an actual pre-lit-tree!  Yippee!!!!



Demolition Derby!

I fought the tree, and the tree won...

Yesterday started out like any other day with me in a daze drinking mountain dew.  Got to work and got started with my daily duties.  I left to go pick up lunch for some of my co-workers and to meet someone to eat my own lunch with.  On the way back to work, I took a side road (short cut) that is very curvy.

At one point, I felt that I was too close to some mailboxes on a curve.  So I turned the wheel to avoid hitting them.  At that point it felt like Sherman (that's my car's name) took over.  I went way over to the left side of the road, so I turned the wheel to come back to the right side.  And I swear I think Sherman sped up.  I hit a tree, head on, and the rubber-saturn-bumper (not to be confused with rubber baby bumper) made the car practically bounce off the tree and with only two wheels on the ground I went again to the left side of the road.  Once there, Sherman slumped over to his side; my side, the driver's side.  Meanwhile, I was being tossed around inside like a shoe in a dryer.  Here is a picture of my crash course...

There was no dramatized "life flashing before my eyes"...  it was more like me, talking to my car (Sherman VueSaturn) saying "REALLY? REALLY? WHAT!! SERIOUSLY?"  And as Sherman slumped to his side, it seemed like it was in slow motion, with me saying "Is this really how it's gonna be? Really?"  And then the very unamused thought, "so that's what that feels like."

Now I'm sideways in my car, still buckled in.  And I'm thinking, how am I gonna get out of here?  I look for my phone, trying to figure out where everything landed.  I find it and call my roommate to come to the scene.  As I'm talking to her and trying to figure out how to get out, I look up and see a very nice man through the cracked windshield.  He is telling someone to call 911, and asking if I'm okay.  He says turn the car off and unlock the doors for me.  And I blindly comply, I don't know who he is, but that doesn't matter in a sideways world.

He climbed on top of the car and opened the passenger door and helped me out.  Then, he helped me off of the car a few moments later.  He stayed at the scene with me until help arrived.  There was a nice woman who called 911 for me. And there was another woman who stopped to help.  There is humanity in this world. 

All in all, God loves me.  It's been proven to me over & over.  How could a car hit a tree head on, bounce off the tree, and land on it's driver's side, and the driver climb out and walk away with NO injuries whatsoever?  I did.  With that in mind, I think I might have a good shot at a career in Demolition Derby.  

May he Rest In Pieces.

Sherman VueSaturn

2005-2012

Light a Match and Watch It Burn

So, a week or so after the judge signed my divorce paperwork, I joined one of those popular dating sites.   It's entertaining to say the least of it.   I have had a few conversations, some really good, some not so good.

First you give yourself a nickname/avatar.  The "about me" questions that you are asked to complete are so generalized but yet they hold some major importance to them... like Do you have any kids?  Next, you are asked to write about yourself in 200 words or less; and I bet that is where everyone, like me, stares blankly at the screen for several minutes.  How do you "cliff note" yourself and still get the message across of who you really are?   Last, you're asked questions about who you are looking for.  Here we go back to the same generalized questions as I answered 'about me'.   Now, based off of these generalized questions, the program matches you up with people in your area.  Everyday, or every other day, you receive an email with a list of people in your area that match up to your answers.  This is where the fun begins.

Nicknames should definitely be personal to who you are; be it a name you gave yourself, or a name your family & friends gave you.  I do believe, though, that someone else in the world should be able to read it.  I also think that you should give it a small amount of thought & creativity.  Just putting your name up there works, it really does, but showing a little fun adds some character.  Some nicknames though, should be reconsidered.

When you finally decide what to write about yourself in 200 words or less.... check your grammar and your spelling... for the love of mankind... please check your grammar and your spelling.  When you are answering the questions about who you are looking for, consider that these questions, while important, are generalized into categories.

Add a photo!  Please!  I know looks aren't the most important thing about a person, but a picture is worth a thousand words.  For instance, the expression on your face; the location of the photo; the clothes you are wearing (or not wearing *eye roll*); the pose; the objects in the background... all those things can reveal more about you. If you don't have enough confidence to add a picture of yourself... well, you probably shouldn't be on a dating site.

Be bold!  Send an email, and say Hello.  Try to have a conversation, if it's comes naturally that is awesome.  If you struggle, then let the conversation fizzle out and disappear.  But just reading some one's profile over and over is not going to teach you more about them.  Be brave.

The last thing I can say is, be open-minded.  I'm not saying you should change your standards, but rather just to remember that the "generalized" questions don't really dig into the depth of a person.  Until you are friendly enough to say hello, you won't know if they are "the one" or just a passing conversation. 

All that being said, I have given serious thought to starting my own site and coordinating "get together"s in my area of my own. 

Well.... happy hunting to you... "and may the odds be ever in your favor".  Hee Hee.