He can fly...he can fly...he flew!

After the big discovery of my husband's infidelity in May, I spent most of that month in a very "zombiesc" state of mind.  I spent the first part of June trying to play detective and figure out what happened.  I spent the first part of July extremely sad. 

And then I prayed, I remember.  I took a break from work and went outside and sat in the sun... I sat in the 'Son'.  I remember saying, "God, I don't want to care about this anymore.  I don't want to carry this hurt, I want to move forward, I want to move on.  God, I'm done with this, it's yours now."  To describe to you perfectly the feeling I had after that would be impossible.  The best I can tell you, is I felt lighter, and warmer, and absolute relief from the stress.  I will not lie and say that those bitter feelings didn't want to come back the next day, but I told them to go away, they were no longer allowed in my mind. And I had to choose to do that everyday for the next few days until they got the hint. 

After the judge signed the official divorce papers in August, I joined a popular dating site. I wrote in a previous post about the self-descriptions and such that I had been reading steadily and almost daily. I honestly, re-wrote my own self-description several times. It is a difficult thing to describe yourself in a short essay.  In making the effort to write about yourself, you'll find that (much to your dismay) you have to think about who you are. And once you've done that, and you begin to mingle, and have casual chats with folks... and again, you begin to describe who you are to them. And in learning about others, you strangely, and inadvertently, learn more about yourself.

I have always been a happy person. That's not to say I'm ignorant, even though I believe it's true that Ignorance is Bliss. But that's not my case. I am well aware of the problems in this world, and the problems all around me in my own little world. But I make the choice to be happy. After all, it's more a choice than an emotion.  I also believe, heavily, that what you surround yourself with, what you listen to, what you read, what you watch, what you say...  affects your moods, your choices, and your lifestyle.  I have a paper on my refrigerator at home that says: 

"Watch your thoughts, they become words. 
Watch your words, they become actions. 
Watch your actions, they become your character. 
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."

It's so simple, yet so true.  The thoughts that you choose to entertain, will make their way out of you.  In one of Paul's letters to the churches, he advised them, to focus their thoughts on good things.  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8

Psychology will show you that people can 'think' themselves into being sick, or into healing themselves. The mind is a very powerful tool.  You can talk yourself into or out of many things.  Paul wasn't telling them to never think about anything else, he wasn't telling them to be ignorant, or to ignore the bad things in the world, he was simply advising them to keep the focus of thoughts on the good side of things.  To keep their thoughts beneficial towards humanity.  Because ultimately, your thoughts will eventually become your destiny.  

So, I leave you with this... "Think happy thoughts, Peter!"

Funny Email (Circulated a bunch)

This email has been circulated a few times, but I still laugh at it everytime I read it... It's fantastic!
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New Mexico Chili Cook-off 

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is.  They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around.  It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza.  Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank:  "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.  The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. 

I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3." 

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato.  Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor.  Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway.  Took me two beers to put the flames out.  I hope that's the worst one.  These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork.  Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children.  I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain.  I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.  They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili.  Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA.  I've located a uranium spill.  My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.  Everyone knows the routine by now.  Get me more beer before I ignite.  Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.  I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice.  Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans.  Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it.  Is it possible to burn out taste buds?  Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.  This 300 lb.  Woman is starting to look HOT ...  Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating!  Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili.  Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick.  Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato.  Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes.  I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics.  The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.  Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher.  I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.  It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.  Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili.  Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet.  Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic.  Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames.  I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair.  No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally.  Can't feel my lips anymore.  I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.  **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3.  He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing.  I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.  My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth.  My pants are full of lava to match my shirt.  At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me.  I've decided to stop breathing.  It's too painful.  Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.  If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili.  Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili.  Neither mild nor hot.  Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.  Not sure if he's going to make it.  Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report.

This is Me

Just a little background info...

I am in my thirties, divorced...I would still be married, but I feel that if my husband is sleeping with another woman, he should be with that woman, not me. So, I'm divorced.  In the 4 years that I was with him, I was stressed out often and gained quite a bit of weight.  I have made it my goal this year to lose 15% body fat.  

I grew up in the Sunshine State, and moved to Tennessee when I was in my late 20's .  I am many miles away from my hometown and my family. It was a gutsy move, but I had to give it a shot.  I am glad I did, no regrets there, I'm a happy girl.   

I have wonderful parents who have blessed me with so much love and quality time, but kept me in line with house rules & chores.  

I went to a big high school in a big city, with plenty of diversity. I was on the dance team and a few various "clubs"... I made fairly good grades. I was in the gifted/advanced classes (except for math, boo... I hate math).   

I have worked in retail, childcare, and various offices... but my dream is to make a living by being creative, or dancing, (though I think it's a bit late in my life now for dancing).  

I love kids, because I am a big one. And I hope that one day I can have one of my own.

I have two awesome dogs. They are big, and they love and protect me. I love them too!