Let Go But Hang On

I awoke the other morning when my heartbeat accelerated and I began to panic. You see, I was having a crazy dream.

I found myself standing near the edge of a huge canyon. It was extremely wide and deep.  In fact, it looked quite similar to Snake River Gorge in Twin Falls, Idaho...  that's the one that Evil Knievel attempted to jump in 1974 without success. Although, I am certain that the one in my dream was much taller, deeper and scarier.

As I gazed out across the canyon, I saw folks on the other side, cheering. They were saying "you can do it, come on". There were a few folks with me on my side of the canyon; but one by one they were grabbing onto a bar, that was hooked to a rope, which was hooked to another rope. I'm telling you that these people were zip-lining across the canyon, with no harnesses, no safety nets. They were just grabbing the bar and hanging on. It was like a handle bar you would see on a kiddie swing set zip-line. Like the handle bar from a bicycle, sliding down a rope. In fact, you know what... I believe Kevin McAllister did just that, across his backyard, in Home Alone.


So it came down to me and another dude who were left standing on our side. He nudged me forward toward the zip-line bar. I freaked out. I turned to run but he put his arm out to stop me.  I dropped to my knees, grasping at the sand and gravel to try to somehow get a tight grip on the earth as I cried out "No, no, I can't, I can't do it."

He knelt beside me, put his hand on my shoulder and gently said "Yes. You can. You need to." It seems as though he knew that if he left before I did, that I would never go. I looked back again at the vast expanse of canyon and the people on the other side who were still cheering for me. I whispered with uncertainty, "no, I can't". So, he got up and went to the edge.  He looked back to me once more... maybe I might change my mind? He grabbed on, and jumped.

I was left alone. Left behind. I inched my way towards the edge. I held my breath as he slide across the rope, until he finally made it to the other side. I was so happy for him and the others. They were supportive, high fiving each other and hugging. Behind me, was nothing but desert. No one around.

I knew that I needed to go. I needed to let go of my fear. My fear was that I would lose my grip, and that I didn't have the strength to hold on... that halfway through I would fall. My fear was that I would fail. There is where I woke from that dream. While I was in that half asleep/half awake state of mind, I tried to process everything that just happened.

A little background info on me: I am an adult college student. I've worked a day job for 18 years, and now I am studying my heart out to try to gain a career. I want to live the remainder of my years living out my passions and loving the work that I do. I am about halfway through with school, and have already started to think about what direction I will go after graduation. Will I succeed?

I am not studying psychology, but I think... I mean... I'm guessing... that the canyon is a symbol somehow. That the other side of the canyon is where success lies for me.  That the zip-line is my track to get there... and I need to let go of my fear of falling (failing) and trust in my strength, trust in my ability to hold on. I need to trust myself.

I am not encouraging zip-lining canyons without a harness, but I am encouraging you to be bigger than your fear. Don't let fear keep you from succeeding.


Let Go...


                ...but Hang On...


                                        ...and you will get there.