After the big discovery of my husband's infidelity in May, I spent most of that month in a very "zombiesc" state of mind. I spent the first part of June trying to play detective and figure out what happened. I spent the first part of July extremely sad.
And then I prayed, I remember. I took a break from work and went outside and sat in the sun... I sat in the 'Son'. I remember saying, "God, I don't want to care about this anymore. I don't want to carry this hurt, I want to move forward, I want to move on. God, I'm done with this, it's yours now." To describe to you perfectly the feeling I had after that would be impossible. The best I can tell you, is I felt lighter, and warmer, and absolute relief from the stress. I will not lie and say that those bitter feelings didn't want to come back the next day, but I told them to go away, they were no longer allowed in my mind. And I had to choose to do that everyday for the next few days until they got the hint.
After the judge signed the official divorce papers in August, I joined a popular dating site. I wrote in a previous post about the self-descriptions and such that I had been reading steadily and almost daily. I honestly, re-wrote my own self-description several times. It is a difficult thing to describe yourself in a short essay. In making the effort to write about yourself, you'll find that (much to your dismay) you have to think about who you are. And once you've done that, and you begin to mingle, and have casual chats with folks... and again, you begin to describe who you are to them. And in learning about others, you strangely, and inadvertently, learn more about yourself.
I have always been a happy person. That's not to say I'm ignorant, even though I believe it's true that Ignorance is Bliss. But that's not my case. I am well aware of the problems in this world, and the problems all around me in my own little world. But I make the choice to be happy. After all, it's more a choice than an emotion. I also believe, heavily, that what you surround yourself with, what you listen to, what you read, what you watch, what you say... affects your moods, your choices, and your lifestyle. I have a paper on my refrigerator at home that says:
"Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."
It's so simple, yet so true. The thoughts that you choose to entertain, will make their way out of you. In one of Paul's letters to the churches, he advised them, to focus their thoughts on good things. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8
Psychology will show you that people can 'think' themselves into being sick, or into healing themselves. The mind is a very powerful tool. You can talk yourself into or out of many things. Paul wasn't telling them to never think about anything else, he wasn't telling them to be ignorant, or to ignore the bad things in the world, he was simply advising them to keep the focus of thoughts on the good side of things. To keep their thoughts beneficial towards humanity. Because ultimately, your thoughts will eventually become your destiny.
So, I leave you with this... "Think happy thoughts, Peter!"
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Funny Email (Circulated a bunch)
This email has been circulated a few times, but I still laugh at it everytime I read it... It's fantastic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in.
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Mexico Chili Cook-off
For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in.
I
was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili
wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer
during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report.
Monday, December 3, 2012
This is Me
Just a little background info...
I am in my thirties, divorced...I would still be married, but I feel that if my husband is sleeping with another woman, he should be with that woman, not me. So, I'm divorced. In the 4 years that I was with him, I was stressed out often and gained quite a bit of weight. I have made it my goal this year to lose 15% body fat.
I grew up in the Sunshine State, and moved to Tennessee when I was in my late 20's . I am many miles away from my hometown and my family. It was a gutsy move, but I had to give it a shot. I am glad I did, no regrets there, I'm a happy girl.
I have wonderful parents who have blessed me with so much love and quality time, but kept me in line with house rules & chores.
I went to a big high school in a big city, with plenty of diversity. I was on the dance team and a few various "clubs"... I made fairly good grades. I was in the gifted/advanced classes (except for math, boo... I hate math).
I have worked in retail, childcare, and various offices... but my dream is to make a living by being creative, or dancing, (though I think it's a bit late in my life now for dancing).
I love kids, because I am a big one. And I hope that one day I can have one of my own.
I have two awesome dogs. They are big, and they love and protect me. I love them too!
I am in my thirties, divorced...I would still be married, but I feel that if my husband is sleeping with another woman, he should be with that woman, not me. So, I'm divorced. In the 4 years that I was with him, I was stressed out often and gained quite a bit of weight. I have made it my goal this year to lose 15% body fat.
I grew up in the Sunshine State, and moved to Tennessee when I was in my late 20's . I am many miles away from my hometown and my family. It was a gutsy move, but I had to give it a shot. I am glad I did, no regrets there, I'm a happy girl.
I have wonderful parents who have blessed me with so much love and quality time, but kept me in line with house rules & chores.
I went to a big high school in a big city, with plenty of diversity. I was on the dance team and a few various "clubs"... I made fairly good grades. I was in the gifted/advanced classes (except for math, boo... I hate math).
I have worked in retail, childcare, and various offices... but my dream is to make a living by being creative, or dancing, (though I think it's a bit late in my life now for dancing).
I love kids, because I am a big one. And I hope that one day I can have one of my own.
I have two awesome dogs. They are big, and they love and protect me. I love them too!
Friday, November 30, 2012
O' Clothesline Tree, O' Clothesline Tree...
...how lovely are thy blouses.
Thanksgiving has passed, and brought forth the time of Christmas. A beautiful time of merriment and insanity. Regardless, I am a bit nostalgic around Christmas and really enjoy the cheesy movies, the strings of lights, the decorations, and you get the idea. It's a beautiful time of year.
During my divorce, while seperating our possesions, I decided to give our pre-lit christmas tree to my ex-husband, since he has kids. So, now that Christmastime is here, I needed a tree. I wanted a pre-lit-tree-in-a-box. (As much as I love real trees, I love them better in the ground where they belong and stay alive forever; hence the name "evergreen".)
Having been to see the Black Friday deals and the back of my eyelids Saturday... I bummed around eating leftover turkey on Sunday... and lo and behold, it was then back-to-work Cyber Monday. I did a little on-line browsing and found a great deal on a tree at a certain big name hardware store. 51% off. If I use my store card, I get an extra 5% off. Awesome! So I bought it online, and requested store pick-up.
After work Monday we get to the store and they tell me that they ran out of stock on the tree I purchased, but they would "upgrade" me to a similar tree for the same price. Wow! Okay, great!
So, I go home with my upgraded pre-lit-tree-in-a-box. But I wasn't quite ready to put it up, so the box sat in the living room for a few days.
Thursday night I decided it was time to put up the tree. I was in a festive mood. I had been singing carols all day, and watching the hallmark channel Christmas marathon.
So I clear out the spot and I sweep and swiffer up the floor, even used pledge (hardwood floor). I get my handy pair of scissors and enthusiastically cut the tape around the edges of the box flaps... I feel almost like a kid in a candy store as I open the first flap... the second flap... and I see the underside to a roll of carpet. I look at my roommate and say, "Huh?" and I pull on the carpet a bit. I actually thought to myself, "When did they start wrapping trees in carpet?" As I tug a bit more on the carpet, I find clothes. Women's clothes. "What!?" And then we both begin to just laugh. What else can you do?
So I took the box of clothes and carpet back to the store and got another box that ACTUALLY had a tree in it. Glad they gave me an actual tree... I thought I'd have to hang a clothesline in order to decorate this carpet/clothes tree that laid before me.
Merry Christmas to me, I have an actual pre-lit-tree! Yippee!!!!
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Thanksgiving has passed, and brought forth the time of Christmas. A beautiful time of merriment and insanity. Regardless, I am a bit nostalgic around Christmas and really enjoy the cheesy movies, the strings of lights, the decorations, and you get the idea. It's a beautiful time of year.
During my divorce, while seperating our possesions, I decided to give our pre-lit christmas tree to my ex-husband, since he has kids. So, now that Christmastime is here, I needed a tree. I wanted a pre-lit-tree-in-a-box. (As much as I love real trees, I love them better in the ground where they belong and stay alive forever; hence the name "evergreen".)
Having been to see the Black Friday deals and the back of my eyelids Saturday... I bummed around eating leftover turkey on Sunday... and lo and behold, it was then back-to-work Cyber Monday. I did a little on-line browsing and found a great deal on a tree at a certain big name hardware store. 51% off. If I use my store card, I get an extra 5% off. Awesome! So I bought it online, and requested store pick-up.
After work Monday we get to the store and they tell me that they ran out of stock on the tree I purchased, but they would "upgrade" me to a similar tree for the same price. Wow! Okay, great!
So, I go home with my upgraded pre-lit-tree-in-a-box. But I wasn't quite ready to put it up, so the box sat in the living room for a few days.
Thursday night I decided it was time to put up the tree. I was in a festive mood. I had been singing carols all day, and watching the hallmark channel Christmas marathon.
So I clear out the spot and I sweep and swiffer up the floor, even used pledge (hardwood floor). I get my handy pair of scissors and enthusiastically cut the tape around the edges of the box flaps... I feel almost like a kid in a candy store as I open the first flap... the second flap... and I see the underside to a roll of carpet. I look at my roommate and say, "Huh?" and I pull on the carpet a bit. I actually thought to myself, "When did they start wrapping trees in carpet?" As I tug a bit more on the carpet, I find clothes. Women's clothes. "What!?" And then we both begin to just laugh. What else can you do?
I called the store and told the manager, "Hun, you're store got jipped." I explained it all to him, I said, I think someone returned the "tree" box for a full refund, but all they really returned is clothes wrapped in a carpet remnant. People are crazy!
Merry Christmas to me, I have an actual pre-lit-tree! Yippee!!!!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Demolition Derby!
I fought the tree, and the tree won...
Yesterday started out like any other day with me in a daze drinking mountain dew. Got to work and got started with my daily duties. I left to go pick up lunch for some of my co-workers and to meet someone to eat my own lunch with. On the way back to work, I took a side road (short cut) that is very curvy.
At one point, I felt that I was too close to some mailboxes on a curve. So I turned the wheel to avoid hitting them. At that point it felt like Sherman (that's my car's name) took over. I went way over to the left side of the road, so I turned the wheel to come back to the right side. And I swear I think Sherman sped up. I hit a tree, head on, and the rubber-saturn-bumper (not to be confused with rubber baby bumper) made the car practically bounce off the tree and with only two wheels on the ground I went again to the left side of the road. Once there, Sherman slumped over to his side; my side, the driver's side. Meanwhile, I was being tossed around inside like a shoe in a dryer. Here is a picture of my crash course...
There was no dramatized "life flashing before my eyes"... it was more like me, talking to my car (Sherman VueSaturn) saying "REALLY? REALLY? WHAT!! SERIOUSLY?" And as Sherman slumped to his side, it seemed like it was in slow motion, with me saying "Is this really how it's gonna be? Really?" And then the very unamused thought, "so that's what that feels like."
Now I'm sideways in my car, still buckled in. And I'm thinking, how am I gonna get out of here? I look for my phone, trying to figure out where everything landed. I find it and call my roommate to come to the scene. As I'm talking to her and trying to figure out how to get out, I look up and see a very nice man through the cracked windshield. He is telling someone to call 911, and asking if I'm okay. He says turn the car off and unlock the doors for me. And I blindly comply, I don't know who he is, but that doesn't matter in a sideways world.
He climbed on top of the car and opened the passenger door and helped me out. Then, he helped me off of the car a few moments later. He stayed at the scene with me until help arrived. There was a nice woman who called 911 for me. And there was another woman who stopped to help. There is humanity in this world.
All in all, God loves me. It's been proven to me over & over. How could a car hit a tree head on, bounce off the tree, and land on it's driver's side, and the driver climb out and walk away with NO injuries whatsoever? I did. With that in mind, I think I might have a good shot at a career in Demolition Derby.
Yesterday started out like any other day with me in a daze drinking mountain dew. Got to work and got started with my daily duties. I left to go pick up lunch for some of my co-workers and to meet someone to eat my own lunch with. On the way back to work, I took a side road (short cut) that is very curvy.
At one point, I felt that I was too close to some mailboxes on a curve. So I turned the wheel to avoid hitting them. At that point it felt like Sherman (that's my car's name) took over. I went way over to the left side of the road, so I turned the wheel to come back to the right side. And I swear I think Sherman sped up. I hit a tree, head on, and the rubber-saturn-bumper (not to be confused with rubber baby bumper) made the car practically bounce off the tree and with only two wheels on the ground I went again to the left side of the road. Once there, Sherman slumped over to his side; my side, the driver's side. Meanwhile, I was being tossed around inside like a shoe in a dryer. Here is a picture of my crash course...
There was no dramatized "life flashing before my eyes"... it was more like me, talking to my car (Sherman VueSaturn) saying "REALLY? REALLY? WHAT!! SERIOUSLY?" And as Sherman slumped to his side, it seemed like it was in slow motion, with me saying "Is this really how it's gonna be? Really?" And then the very unamused thought, "so that's what that feels like."
Now I'm sideways in my car, still buckled in. And I'm thinking, how am I gonna get out of here? I look for my phone, trying to figure out where everything landed. I find it and call my roommate to come to the scene. As I'm talking to her and trying to figure out how to get out, I look up and see a very nice man through the cracked windshield. He is telling someone to call 911, and asking if I'm okay. He says turn the car off and unlock the doors for me. And I blindly comply, I don't know who he is, but that doesn't matter in a sideways world.
He climbed on top of the car and opened the passenger door and helped me out. Then, he helped me off of the car a few moments later. He stayed at the scene with me until help arrived. There was a nice woman who called 911 for me. And there was another woman who stopped to help. There is humanity in this world.
All in all, God loves me. It's been proven to me over & over. How could a car hit a tree head on, bounce off the tree, and land on it's driver's side, and the driver climb out and walk away with NO injuries whatsoever? I did. With that in mind, I think I might have a good shot at a career in Demolition Derby.
May he Rest In Pieces.
Sherman VueSaturn
2005-2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Light a Match and Watch It Burn
So, a week or so after the judge signed my divorce paperwork, I joined one of those popular dating sites. It's entertaining to say the least of it. I have had a few conversations, some really good, some not so good.
First you give yourself a nickname/avatar. The "about me" questions that you are asked to complete are so generalized but yet they hold some major importance to them... like Do you have any kids? Next, you are asked to write about yourself in 200 words or less; and I bet that is where everyone, like me, stares blankly at the screen for several minutes. How do you "cliff note" yourself and still get the message across of who you really are? Last, you're asked questions about who you are looking for. Here we go back to the same generalized questions as I answered 'about me'. Now, based off of these generalized questions, the program matches you up with people in your area. Everyday, or every other day, you receive an email with a list of people in your area that match up to your answers. This is where the fun begins.
Nicknames should definitely be personal to who you are; be it a name you gave yourself, or a name your family & friends gave you. I do believe, though, that someone else in the world should be able to read it. I also think that you should give it a small amount of thought & creativity. Just putting your name up there works, it really does, but showing a little fun adds some character. Some nicknames though, should be reconsidered.
When you finally decide what to write about yourself in 200 words or less.... check your grammar and your spelling... for the love of mankind... please check your grammar and your spelling. When you are answering the questions about who you are looking for, consider that these questions, while important, are generalized into categories.
Add a photo! Please! I know looks aren't the most important thing about a person, but a picture is worth a thousand words. For instance, the expression on your face; the location of the photo; the clothes you are wearing (or not wearing *eye roll*); the pose; the objects in the background... all those things can reveal more about you. If you don't have enough confidence to add a picture of yourself... well, you probably shouldn't be on a dating site.
Be bold! Send an email, and say Hello. Try to have a conversation, if it's comes naturally that is awesome. If you struggle, then let the conversation fizzle out and disappear. But just reading some one's profile over and over is not going to teach you more about them. Be brave.
The last thing I can say is, be open-minded. I'm not saying you should change your standards, but rather just to remember that the "generalized" questions don't really dig into the depth of a person. Until you are friendly enough to say hello, you won't know if they are "the one" or just a passing conversation.
All that being said, I have given serious thought to starting my own site and coordinating "get together"s in my area of my own.
Well.... happy hunting to you... "and may the odds be ever in your favor". Hee Hee.
First you give yourself a nickname/avatar. The "about me" questions that you are asked to complete are so generalized but yet they hold some major importance to them... like Do you have any kids? Next, you are asked to write about yourself in 200 words or less; and I bet that is where everyone, like me, stares blankly at the screen for several minutes. How do you "cliff note" yourself and still get the message across of who you really are? Last, you're asked questions about who you are looking for. Here we go back to the same generalized questions as I answered 'about me'. Now, based off of these generalized questions, the program matches you up with people in your area. Everyday, or every other day, you receive an email with a list of people in your area that match up to your answers. This is where the fun begins.
Nicknames should definitely be personal to who you are; be it a name you gave yourself, or a name your family & friends gave you. I do believe, though, that someone else in the world should be able to read it. I also think that you should give it a small amount of thought & creativity. Just putting your name up there works, it really does, but showing a little fun adds some character. Some nicknames though, should be reconsidered.
When you finally decide what to write about yourself in 200 words or less.... check your grammar and your spelling... for the love of mankind... please check your grammar and your spelling. When you are answering the questions about who you are looking for, consider that these questions, while important, are generalized into categories.
Add a photo! Please! I know looks aren't the most important thing about a person, but a picture is worth a thousand words. For instance, the expression on your face; the location of the photo; the clothes you are wearing (or not wearing *eye roll*); the pose; the objects in the background... all those things can reveal more about you. If you don't have enough confidence to add a picture of yourself... well, you probably shouldn't be on a dating site.
Be bold! Send an email, and say Hello. Try to have a conversation, if it's comes naturally that is awesome. If you struggle, then let the conversation fizzle out and disappear. But just reading some one's profile over and over is not going to teach you more about them. Be brave.
The last thing I can say is, be open-minded. I'm not saying you should change your standards, but rather just to remember that the "generalized" questions don't really dig into the depth of a person. Until you are friendly enough to say hello, you won't know if they are "the one" or just a passing conversation.
All that being said, I have given serious thought to starting my own site and coordinating "get together"s in my area of my own.
Well.... happy hunting to you... "and may the odds be ever in your favor". Hee Hee.
Friday, August 3, 2012
The New Adventures of Old Cindy
I have 9 more days to go until the judge signs the paperwork making my divorce official. I have found myself learning to be alone again, learning to be single again. It's a new adventure.
I am learning to be in a quiet house without going stir~crazy, because being alone is okay sometimes.
I am learning to find things to occupy my time, because idleness isn't a good thing.
I am learning that it's okay to not have another person to talk to, because I can talk to God more clearly.
I am learning to have new friends, and get in touch with old friends.
I am learning to live on a tight tight tight tight budget... that part is not fun.
Since our separation, I've had to learn to take care of the pool. This was interesting to say the least. Thank you so much to the owner of the pool store, he was patient and explained everything to me. I learned how to backwash, vacuum and clean out the filters. And the pool is doing so good now! And so nice to get into after work.
I've had to learn to kill bugs for myself.... Icky! But, I have managed to kill a spider. For me, being in the same room as a spider is an accomplishment.
I am cleaning walls, floors, baseboards, you name it. And thanks to my good friend for helping me!
In this new adventure, I still rely on God. I have relied on my faith and my Christianity for many years. I was saved at 15 years old. And though I fell away for a few years, I came back at 21 years old. I started dating my soon-to-be-ex at 29. I married him at 32, and now I am divorcing at 33. I believe the details are too personal, so I will not share; but I do have a good biblical reason for divorce.
In this separation and divorce, I am depending on my faith, not just relying on it. But I am holding on for dear life. It's a good thing, I believe, to be in God's control, in the palm of His hands. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that in my weakness, in my moments of total depression... God is working out the details, and helping me. But waiting patiently is SO difficult, it really is. I want to pull my hair out, I want to scream, but still... I am confident that He is on my side.
Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who LOVE HIM".
Romans 8:31 follows that thought with, "What then can we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Psalm 121, David writes, "I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the Maker of heaven and earth.....The Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
God really does love me, and the best news that I can give you is... God loves YOU too.
:-) Cindy
I am learning to be in a quiet house without going stir~crazy, because being alone is okay sometimes.
I am learning to find things to occupy my time, because idleness isn't a good thing.
I am learning that it's okay to not have another person to talk to, because I can talk to God more clearly.
I am learning to have new friends, and get in touch with old friends.
I am learning to live on a tight tight tight tight budget... that part is not fun.
Since our separation, I've had to learn to take care of the pool. This was interesting to say the least. Thank you so much to the owner of the pool store, he was patient and explained everything to me. I learned how to backwash, vacuum and clean out the filters. And the pool is doing so good now! And so nice to get into after work.
I've had to learn to kill bugs for myself.... Icky! But, I have managed to kill a spider. For me, being in the same room as a spider is an accomplishment.
I am cleaning walls, floors, baseboards, you name it. And thanks to my good friend for helping me!
In this new adventure, I still rely on God. I have relied on my faith and my Christianity for many years. I was saved at 15 years old. And though I fell away for a few years, I came back at 21 years old. I started dating my soon-to-be-ex at 29. I married him at 32, and now I am divorcing at 33. I believe the details are too personal, so I will not share; but I do have a good biblical reason for divorce.
In this separation and divorce, I am depending on my faith, not just relying on it. But I am holding on for dear life. It's a good thing, I believe, to be in God's control, in the palm of His hands. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that in my weakness, in my moments of total depression... God is working out the details, and helping me. But waiting patiently is SO difficult, it really is. I want to pull my hair out, I want to scream, but still... I am confident that He is on my side.
Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who LOVE HIM".
Romans 8:31 follows that thought with, "What then can we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Psalm 121, David writes, "I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the Maker of heaven and earth.....The Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
God really does love me, and the best news that I can give you is... God loves YOU too.
:-) Cindy
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